roses are happier black.

thoughtprocesses.

Thursday, October 28, 2004

my gods will becomes me...

just and advice for hardcore theists before you continue on reading this post: please do not read this post. You may find my ideas absurd however, if you are flexible enough to understand what you will be reading later, it’s ok. Just don’t tell me that I’ll burn in hell if I don’t conform to your beliefs.

Just imagine you’re an iraqi mom (or dad if you are a man or you just feel like you are a man) who just came home from a grocery store to buy something for your husband (or wife) and kids to eat. When you came back, you find out that your house was blown into smithereens. As you walk further, you accidentally stepped on something. You looked down to see what it is. It looks like meat… a decapitated hand… probably one of your kid’s hand… it was the artist’s. As you examined the surroundings, you saw other decapitated body parts of your loved ones. After watching the gruesome scenery of American bloodbath done to the rubbles you once called home, you knelt facing the east to pray for allah to destroy America while mourning over the sashimi-ed bodies of your loved ones. Then at night, a group of us soldiers captured you and brought you to their camp. They tortured you because they have mistaken you for a leader of an Iraqi guerilla movement. At the heat of the torturing session, they raped you (yes, there are some homos too).

You lie on the ground half dead covered with piss, spunk, and blood. You prayed to allah like what your parents advised you to do whenever you feel down. You prayed him the same prayer: “allah, destroy America.” To your surprise, angel Gabriel, the angel allah sent to mohammad thousands of years ago, came from heaven and whispered something to your ear: “there’s nothing to worry child. This is the best possible world. You have served a divine purpose. God is good.”

I am not questioning the god god but the God. The God with a capital G – the one mosts theists believe to be the purely good god. the omniscient, the omnibenevolent, the omnipotent, and the omnipresent one. If he is omniscient, he should have anticipated all the events which will lead to another event. I cannot actually say that he can see the future because if he can see the future, we cannot call it the “future” anymore because we he knows it already unless the world is totally pre-determined. What I mean by totally pre-determined is that the choices we make are god’s choices not ours. Knowing that he can anticipate all the events, he is omnipresent, which means he is everywhere to know absolutely everything. if god is present everywhere and anticipates every event, since he is omnibenevolent (he is all good), should use his power to stop every evil that is happening.

Situations like this one happens throughout history yet people still pray. Hope – an immaterial scapegoat for those who are weak – those who never relied on themselves but on god.

~~runaway~~

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

lalala

Bebong and Alfred found out that I play drums so they asked me if I could play for their band. I told them about some constraints which are keeping me distant from my dreams. They were empathic enough to understand because as what bebong said, “it’s really hard. We’re students too.” They were disbanded months ago. The reasons were first, their drummer fled to us and they had a difficult time looking for a new one, and second, oscar, their band’s frontman was making them choose either to play in his band or to burn their asses off in their part-time jobs. It sounds really absurd but there really are some people who are devoted in their chosen career. Obviously, they picked their part-time jobs for the reason that they want to invest for their future. I think it’s a good decision.

We are planning to start the formal band after we all have graduated that time management will be less difficult. Their band’s genre is a mixture of reggae… metal… I don’t actually understand but their influences are metallica, led zep, eraserheads, wolfgang, etc. bebong asked me what my influnces are and asked me if it’s ok for me to shift to another genre. It’s not actually a big deal if I can’t be in a goth band. I’m in for the music and I can’t really choose the band which I’ll be in. I’m flexible enough when it comes to music. Ay di pala, basta wag lang kupaw… hehehe.

~~runaway~~

Monday, October 25, 2004

the end is the beginning is the end...

To those people who are already pissed-off at me and my mood swings, I’m sorry and please bear with me because now, as what I have said before, I have a reasonable excuses for creating another blog…

As I have promised, here are my reasons:

I want to escape from gossipy people
- I have censored myself in my previous accounts that’s why, if you noticed, my entries were constipated when it comes to my personal life. Then some group of people who call themselves c.o.g. (the council of the gods – because, as they say, they are omniscient…) misinterpret every posts we (not only my blog) publish in our journals and spreads gossips about it.

I want some privacy
- I hate networking thingy features in online journal hosts such as lj and tabulas. I want to keep my ideas for myself and for some chosen few.

hackers…
- not a mjor issue but this is also a problem…

whatever these problems are, there’s still no escape route for me.

~~runaway~~

Sunday, October 24, 2004

testing

~~runaway~~